First Quarter Reflections

During the holiday season, I've gotten to talk to a lot of family and friends about what teaching has been like in Detroit. I've shared stories, experiences, frustrations, and occasionally, the joys, of teaching. What I've realized, and keep on realizing, is that the stories are more often than not, sad, pity stories. I lament the state of our education system, the behavior of the students, the lack of motivation, the systemic dysfunction, and so forth, but what I've been asked time and time again is this: "so, what are your success stories?" It takes me a few minutes to think of some, but once I do, these stories keep coming, one after the other. That's when I realized how jaded I was. I sounded jaded, angry, frustrated. The stories I tell aren't ones of encouragement, but ones of frustration and sometimes, bitterness.

If hope wasn't the reason I took this job, I don't know what was. I had hope. I had the hope that I could make a differences in these kids' education and their lives. Now, the first thing that comes out of my mouth is a deep sigh, followed by a rant about how my students piss me off. I've said this before already, but it really isn't a healthy attitude. I came in with a hope for the future, and I still have a hope. I've just seemed to lose sight of it. So as requested, here are some success stories. Stories of hope.

My students were scoring around 40% on their tests in September. They're now at 52%. It's far from where they need to be, but it's something.

My 9th graders were reading at  Grade 2.5/3 in September. They're now reading, on average, at Grade 3/4. Far from even adequate, but it's growth.

I worked with a student for a few weeks to draft and re-write an essay on Progressivism. After she turned in her final draft, she told me that this was the first time she had learned how to write an essay.

Attendance has gone from around 50% in September to 70-80% in December.

In October, 55% of my students were failing my classes. In December, this number stood at 40%.

My kids, for the first time in their lives, understand the significance of the Constitution.

My students understand that putting words on a piece of paper isn't going to get them an A. Getting an A requires hard work, effort and dedication.

Many of my kids, for the first time ever, have grasped the idea that racism is not a one-way street. It goes both ways.

Some of my kids, for the first time ever, now understand that being Black in this society is not a bad thing, and no one can ever tell them that it is.

These students have had to practice treating others with respect, dignity and love. They have had to learn to be humble. They have had to learn how to put someone else's needs above your's. They have had walk away from, stop, report and mediate fights. They have had to learn not to gossip. They have had to learn how to honor your parents and be subject to authority. They have had to learn to find their own voice and use it. They have had to take responsibility for their own actions and face the consequences as necessary. They have had to own up to things they did and apologize to those they wronged. They have had to act beyond their age and be men and women. They have had to be examples to others; role models, tutors, mentors. They have had to be a best friend, a brother, a sister, a counselor, a teacher, to their peers.

This may sound like a list of achievements for myself, but the truth is that very little of this is a result of what I have done. All of it is the result of what these students have achieved. Yes, they may be disrespectful, or have moments when they can't behave or stop talking. Yes, they are performing far below grade level. Yes, they may frustrate me every single day. Yes, I'm still not a good teacher and I'm probably not doing these kids justice. But at the end of the day, these kids still deserve credit for what they have done. Yes, we're far from where we want to be, but they have undoubtedly grown, both academically and emotionally, throughout this past semester. Some of these kids have worked their butts off to be able to receive a quality education. It's all too easy to only remember why your life sucks, not what makes it bright here and there. It's all too easy to focus on the negatives and not remember the success stories. When someone asks me about my teaching, the first thing that comes out of my mouth shouldn't be a deep sigh of resignation. My experience shouldn't be defined by the failures, but the successes. You may say that failures are what drives us to do better - that's correct, but the successes are what keeps us afloat. The successes motivate us to do even better and remind us that what we're doing here means something. 

These kids deserve much better than my jadedness, my rants and my complaints. They deserve to be recognized for what they have done. They deserve to be commended for their relentless effort and love for learning. I may be tired and unmotivated, but it's these success stories that will push me to do even better. These success stories give hope for the future. They offer a hope and a reminder that these kids have so much potential. They just need someone  to help them realize that potential.

Strength

One of my students ran out of class today to take a phone call. Two minutes later, I walk out and see her sobbing on the floor in the hallway. I sit down next to her and ask her what was going on. Sobbing, she informs me that she just got a call from her mom telling her that her brother was just shot and died in the hospital. 


After a few minutes, she picks herself up, and tells me she wants to go to class. Rejecting an offer to go home, she says that she wants to go to class because she didn't want to miss any work. It amazes me how much strength this 14 year-old has, and how much strength all my 14 year-olds have. What's sad is that this isn't the first case, and it won't be the last. My kids have been through broken families, physical abuse, homelessness, constant violence, and death after death of their loved ones. Many of them have lost everything, but they have shown a resiliency and strength that I had never seen before. They have an unmatched capacity to forgive; they have faced tremendous challenges, and have had the strength and perseverance to get through all of them. These are children living in the midst of unthinkable violence, but they want to learn. They have a thirst for knowledge, and they are crying out for teachers who care and will teach them what they need to know. They are here to learn, and for some of them, they are doing it because this is how they are going to make their mothers, fathers, brothers and sisters, watching from Heaven, proud. 


My students may act out, or talk in class, but deep down inside them, they have faced so much brokenness and have risen from them stronger. I was reminded today how much they deserved to be admired and respected for this resiliency that I didn't have at their age, and that I don't even know if I have now. If I ever needed motivation to teach these kids, this is it. They deserve it.