First Month of School

The first month of school has been nothing short of crazy. It's been a long, tiring but ultimately rewarding roller coaster ride. I've had to think and re-think the decisions I've made, the actions I've taken, and use the lessons from this past month to make me the best teacher I can be. It hasn't been easy, and it won't be for a while, but I'm getting there, and my students are getting there. Slowly but surely, we'll make it.


The first two weeks of school were productive and positive. Even though my 9th graders came in on a 4th grade reading level and had very little knowledge of social studies, they showed a desire to learn and a willingness to work. I was known as the "mean" and "irritating" teacher, and students knew what I had expected of them. After the first two weeks, however, the honeymoon ended. They got comfortable, and started to get testy. They would start yelling in class about how the class is boring, how they don't want to be there, fight with each other in class, jump over desks, and talk back at me. It certainly hasn't been easy - my lunch break is the only thing saving me from a mental collapse before my fifth hour class. For the first time this year, I yelled at my students this week. For four straight weeks, they had tested me and frustrated me, and I finally lost it. Raising my voice, I questioned what was going on in their heads that could possibly possess them to think that their behavior was okay. Whether it was a good decision, we'll see, but they needed to see that I wasn't just going to let it go. Seeing that I lost control, however, might also give them extra incentive to keep doing it. I don't know what will happen - we'll have to wait and see.


Lessons Learned


Start off mean, and never stop being mean
The day I stopped being mean and enforcing strict consequences, the students pounced on it, and have not relented since. Once they think they can get away with something, they will keep on doing it, and when the entire class is doing it, it's too late to enforce discipline, because it's 20 of them against one of you. Also, being mean shows them that you care. It sounds weird, but if I let them get away with everything, they feel like I don't really care. To show them that their learning matters, I HAVE to maintain strict consistency.


You can't teach everything
That first week, I realized that I had four years of material to cover in one. They were so far behind that I thought they needed to compensate for all that time lost, so I ended up doing a lot of the talking and we did fewer fun activities, just because I thought they needed to learn. It turns out that not only is this inhibiting their learning, but they just won't be interested. I learned that I can't possibly teach everything. We're not going from A to Z; we're going from A to B. Today, they learned one more thing than they did yesterday, and I should be happy about that. They need to have fun, or else they just won't learn.


Don't take it personally
They may not respect you, or even like you, but you just can't take it personally. After taking taunt after taunt in class, and hearing argument after argument, it's easy to feel like you're a bad teacher. My students have told me I wasn't doing my job right, that they thought the class sucked, and even that they "don't give a shit" about what I tell them to do. Taking that from about 20 different students a day isn't easy, and the only way through it is to know that it's not about you. I can't take it personally; they've been through so many years of teachers that don't care that they just don't trust teachers. It's my job to show them that I do care, to build that respect, and not take insults personally.


Don't engage them
Some of the most frustrating lessons I've had were when I engaged my students in arguments. Sometimes they would complain I was picking on them, or that they didn't do what I had accused of them of. If I engaged them, we'd lose 5 full minutes of valuable class time, and it would usually involve them having fun pissing me off and me getting mad. None of those are good things. That's why: don't engage them.


They need A LOT of guidance
I tried having them take notes on my Powerpoints. Thinking that they could take notes like college students, I was wrong. If I had a lot on my presentation, they would copy straight off the slides. If I had very little on the presentation, they would only copy what was on the slides. Either way, they were not listening, and were not copying down key points we were bringing up in class. After we discussed the topic, they would ask what specifically they had to write down. So, the lesson learned is that they're not trained to think about topics, but that their previous teachers have just spoon-fed them. Here's to training up five classes of students that will think and not just write.


Be optimistic
During the past two weeks, I wake up every morning needing motivation to go to school. I keep asking myself what I've gotten myself into. It's not easy, and the only way to get through it all is to know that things are going to change. It's to know that things are going to get better, and that these hard, long weeks are eventually going to lead to student success and investment. Even though they're poorly behaved, they're learning. They're still better off than they were a month ago, so think of what can happen in a year? Yes - it's hard, but it really can't get any worse, which means it's only going to get better.


While I'm thinking about how bad my classes are, it should be noted that there are many others who have it much worse than I do. The Teach for America - Detroit corps started at 109 in May, and as of today, we are at just 79. Friends of mine - all great people and excellent teachers - have quit under the pressure, the grind and the never-ending workload. Others have been removed from their positions by their school. Some just could not cope with the unreasonably high expectations placed on them, and some just could not get everything they wanted to do done. Many of these 30 quit because they were expected to be excellent teachers in their first year, and for first year teachers, it just wasn't possible. The reality is that none of us are good teachers. Not yet, at least. The reality is that we all need improvement, and people need to acknowledge that. Being an idealistic organization is a good thing in some ways, because you're never letting reality inhibit your ambitions. However, you have to be practical; students who have gotten years of poor education can't just be made into stellar scholars in four weeks. Teachers who have only gotten four weeks of proper student teaching just can't be expected to change the world. Teachers are still people, and many of my friends and fellow teachers left simply because they were not being treated as people. If the teacher isn't being cared for, how can the kids be? What's sad isn't that these fine people have left their jobs; what's sad is that this experience has turned them away from teaching. Those who wanted to teach as a career were horrified by the expectations and pressure placed on them, and disenchanted by the lack of preparation they were given. This has made people feel like bad teachers, and believe that they just don't cut it. That's not true. That's what they will make you think, but the reality is that we're all bad teachers, and we'll all get good. This organization needs to raise up teachers who will teach for life, not find a way for college graduates who will be given just enough tools to get through two years. We don't need temporary teachers; we need lifelong ones. This organization may believe in some great ideals, but we need to be realistic; we have to take it step by step, and not expect the world to change overnight.


In some ways, this has shown me the benefits of traditional education training. These teachers get a full year in the classroom before they're left on their own; we had four weeks. These teachers get the experience, the know-how, and even the little details that can make such a difference. Also, these teachers get to experience teaching before they commit to being with 200 students. Some people join alternative teaching programs, and then realize that teaching wasn't their thing. If we had traditional training, this realization would have come during training. Teach for America will portray itself as a social justice advocate and a community service organization, and so people join to fight for justice. When you do that, you're misleading a lot of people who want to fight for justice, but not necessarily to teach. As I've told my friends who are applying, do it not because you want to change the world, but simply because you want to teach. This isn't something you do to feel good, 'cause it really won't make you feel very good. They won't tell you that when they recruit you, but hey, that's life.


America's education system is broken, and over the twenty-year history of this organization, the achievement gap has not narrowed. Our system is still broken, and we need to find ways to change it. These short-term programs aren't enough; we need solutions that will actually make a difference. These kids have so much potential, and slowly but surely, we need to realize it.