College Never Ends

I started Teach for America Institute in New York City yesterday. We're at St. John's University in Queens, which is housed in a gorgeous, tree-lined campus, with catered food and huge apartment-style dorms. It's in a great location - close to Flushing (for the necessary Asian groceries), and a subway ride away from Manhattan. 


One observation I've made though, is that this is exactly like freshman year of college. Seriously, everything about it is just like college, from our environment (obviously) to social interactions. Here are some examples:


Dining:
You only eat with your hallmates (or suitemates), and ignore everyone else when you get to the cafeteria. You knock on most doors to invite people to come to dinner, because you all want to be friends. However, when you get to the cafeteria, you sit in your groups and never really start conversations with other people around you.


Going out:
We wanted to go out last night, but didn't know where to go, so we asked around. Eventually, we followed people who had already been here before, and they took us to a bar, which we realized was far too busy and crowded. Does this remind you of frat parties freshman year and how we'd always follow the 'cool' guy who had a brother who knows someone in the frat?


Social interactions:
They still start off really superficial; we talk about sports and movies and cars and stupid things you did in college, just like you probably did with your freshman year hallmates. We travel in packs of 20, just like we did freshman year. There's always some dude trying to hit on some chick, just like any given day in college. 


Learning:
We sit in classrooms and are talked at by teachers who are training us. They keep going on until, just like in any college class, we fall asleep. Naturally, just like freshman year, we sit as far back as we can, and make snide comments about things our advisors say.


It's just like college! I guess it's just how people are. These things do reflect our tendencies as human beings - to be careful and shielded at first; to want to feel secure; to want others to like you. It's just funny, how I said that I really wanted to get out of college mode and wanted to grow up, and at teacher training, this is exactly what it's like. I'm not complaining - I love it here. The people are great and we're clearly working toward one common purpose, but it's just funny how you leave something, and a few weeks later, it just seems like you've never really left it.


One big difference between this place and college though, is the amount of times you're asked to reflect on your feelings and emotions. College professors just give you information, argue their opinions, and then expect you to process all that yourself. Here, we're given vision upon vision, statistic after statistic, and after each one, are asked how we felt. The first time around, it's very effective and probably a good thing - we learn to be vulnerable and open to our emotions, thus understanding why we were doing the work we're doing, and preparing us emotionally to cope with the challenges that lie ahead. The second time around, it probably reinforces our understanding, underline our commitment and further motivates us to do well. After that, however, it just gets old. We're asked to journal about our feelings after every little story and every statistic. While there are many heartwarming - and heartbreaking - stories, and many more heartbreaking statistics, I'm sure they know that we're only here because we're committed and motivated. They really don't need to motivate us anymore, because that's the only reason we're here getting five hours of sleep a night and waking up at 5 am every morning. I wrote in my last post about how excited I am to do this work, and how the saddening reality of public education is inspiring me to make a difference, but it seems like they think we're not inspired enough. For the past seven days, we've heard the same stories, the same statistics, and the same motivational mottos and buzz words. I think I've heard the word 'relentlessly' and 'achievement' about a thousand times this week. We're here because we were inspired, and talking about the problem for seven days won't change anything. We need to get down and do something about it, and THAT, is what I'm excited to do. 


I guess college really never ends - every new place you go to may remind you of the awkwardness, the nervous anticipation, and the social dynamics of college again, but that's okay. It's what you do about it that matters. It's whether you continue to let it be like freshman year, or do you actually grow up, take responsibility, and learn how to be a successful college student, graduate student, or member of the workforce. Maybe thinking about your feelings will help - in fact, you should do it. But there really is only so much thinking you can do before you actually roll your sleeves up and make a difference.