We Teach for the D

We just finished our first week of training at the Teach for America Institute in New York City. Next week, I'm going to begin teaching 11th Grade English at the Bronx Preparatory Charter School. It's crazy to think that in three days, I'm going to be in front of fifteen to twenty students as a teacher for the first time. As I I look back to this past week of training and everything that's happened, I don't think I've had that great - and short - of a roller-coaster ride in a while. To be honest, some parts of training are totally unnecessary - we keep talking about our vision, why we're in the corps, why our education system sucks, how we're feeling about social injustice etc... Our responses at all of those sessions were the same: of course we see the injustice, of course we're angry, of course we want to change this. If we didn't know this, we wouldn't be here. Somehow, I guess, they still wanted to talk a LOT before we put anything into action. Anyway, this made me come out of the first two days of training pissed and groggy. We sat indoors from 6 am to 5 pm, listening to session after session about vision-casting, the importance of diversity (yay Intervarsity!) and the realities of injustice, while school was starting in five days, and we hadn't even started planning yet. The printing and coping systems weren't working, we were getting five hours of sleep, we didn't know what was going on in our schools, our advisors didn't show up, and it went on and on and on. Nothing was going right during the first two days, and they sucked.


After those two days though, I sat down and reflected. I remembered the bigger picture for which we were working toward; I remembered that this isn't about me, but about our kids. I realized that these little problems were simply insignificant compared to the problems our students had to deal with, and they just weren't worth complaining about. I also realized the importance of some of the sessions that we thought were annoying and useless; we needed to learn how to teach in a diverse school, we needed to learn how to deal with parents from different cultural backgrounds, and yes, we needed to talk about our vision because this was the only thing that was pushing us forward. I also realized that there was a reason we weren't planning for school - it was because they wanted us to get used to the tight timeframe, and make us work under the kind of pressure that we would be under as teachers. I remembered again that this job wasn't going to be easy, and if you really do want to make difference, you have to work for it. If this means waking up at 5 every morning, not having time to call home, and having barely any free time, so be it. You just gotta suck it up. I mean, there are still a lot of things that aren't going smoothly here, and days usually do end with frustration, but I just have to remember that this isn't about us. At many points in our lives, things are going to go off-track, and plans are going to be turned upside down, but instead of complaining, we just gotta deal with it. This is our responsibility to our students - that we will work relentlessly, and if this is what it's going to take to bring my student from 1% to passing her exam at 70%, so be it. It's part of the job.


Thinking back now, the logistical screw-ups, the long, tiring sessions and the lack of sleep are just little bits of God's plan. Despite things not running smoothly, they did end up working out by the deadline. Despite the long sessions, we were able to learn (some) valuable lessons, and we were still able to stay awake for most of the day. I'm stronger, not weaker, because of institute. I've learned to persevere more than I ever have, and I've solidified my desire and commitment to why I am teaching. This wasn't easy, but God made it hard - through Teach for America - so that I would learn to be a more effective servant for Him, and for my students. These are challenges that are inevitable in life, but it's God who can refocus you to the bigger picture - to the very reason for why you are doing what you are - and remind you that in the end, everything is worth it.

As I was writing my lesson plan for the first few days of class, I began to realize more and more the magnitude of the work ahead of us. For me, I finally realized how much was at stake; my students are taking the New York Regents Exam in August, and if they fail their English exam, they will have to repeat the year (not to mention how it would affect their entry to college). As I was grading their practice exams, I found out that one student got a 1%, while another was at 24%. It hit me then - that this isn't only about my training; it isn't about my month of teaching, but it's about a lifetime of learning ahead of these students that we may either speed up, or stall. Going back to my lesson plan, then, I realized how much work this was going to be, and the responsibility that we have to each and every one of our students. Instead of just b.s.ing my way through the lesson plan, I reminded myself of my responsibility, and went back and added every detail possible, and adapted it to their needs, because this wasn't only about me getting certified, but about these kids learning. They're not our guinea pigs; they're real people, and us screwing up would lead to real consequences. It's a lot, but with God's help, with faith, and an unwavering perseverance, we're going to get there, because as we say here, We Teach for the D.